Embrace the Fear

“It is good to have a failure while you're young because it teaches you so much. For one thing it makes you aware that such a thing can happen to anybody, and once you’ve lived through the worst, you’re never quite as vulnerable afterward.” -Walt Disney

Little known fact: I HATE writing. Now this wouldn’t feel like such a big deal if I

didn’t teach Language Arts to middle school students. That’s right, I teach how to analyze books and how to write. Teaching reading is fun. I love books. Writing, though, is different.

When I was little, I enjoyed creating characters and writing short stories. I would research settings of places I had never been, making sure to use actual names of these locations in my stories. My mom was always my biggest fan, reading every story and complimenting my plots and character development.

High school changed my writing from creative short stories to analytical and informational writing. Still, I didn’t hate writing, that came in college. During my freshman year of college, in a literature analysis class, my first paper had a strong comment from the professor: clear, interesting thoughts on the novel, but your writing is lacking and needs serious help. My confidence was shattered. For my next paper in that class, I attended the professor’s office hours, seeking extra help. Again I received a negative comment about my writing. Ultimately, I dropped the class, but the damage was done: I HATED writing.

Looking back, I realize it was less about hating writing and more about fearing the vulnerability that sharing my writing requires. Fearful of people’s thoughts about my writing. Fearful that I will come off foolish in my writing. Fearful of failure.

Exploring my anxieties around writing, I realize I need to embrace that fear. This blog can be part of this — sending my writing out into the unknown for whoever to read. Each post becomes a small step towards rebuilding my confidence as a writer. Each post helps me to empathize with the students in my class who also hate writing.

Here’s to embracing my fear, sending my writing into the unknown, and regaining my confidence as a writer. Happy reading and may you find a way to embrace your fear!